Love is such a vital thing. What in the world would we do if God removed it from us?
I think it would be impossible for anyone of us to survive – literally – without Love.
From the very beginning, from birth, we learn love, crave love, give love. It’s completely innate and completely self sufficient.
As we go through life, it’s the one thing we constantly seek, and for most people, it is the basis by which we judge the success or failure of our lives.
It is the beginning of all other emotions – sadness, anger, jealousy, joy, courage, endurance, elation, desire. None of these would exist without the invisible but substantial process of love.
I have been privileged to have it.
Your family doesn’t choose you. You’re automatic. A given. They have to love you. It’s obligatory, in a way.
You’re spouse chose you. Picked you. Wanted you. They could leave at any time. Get out. Run. Sprint. Race.
But he hasn’t.
After nearly nine years, he’s still here.
He’s the bravest person I know.
Some may have the impression we’re fulfilling some fairytale, that staying together as we have through fire and trials is unbelievable.
Are we soulmates? Like characters from some novel, are we destined to be together by some unseen force of space and time?
Do “Soulmates” actually exist?
What do you think?
In my opinion, “soul mate” is a romantic notion produced by stories in books and movies. It gives the impression that you will meet The One – a fanciful person that will be perfect for you; your eyes will lock across the room at some profound moment in life, and from that moment on you will have your happily ever after, living in perfect unison and joy for life. But that is exactly what it is – a story. A fairytale.
Unfortunately, it gives all of us all a false sense of what relationships are in real life. Then, when we fnally get into a commitment, and it doesn’t reach up to that “Once-in-a-Lifetime-Hugh Grant and Julia Roberts in Notting Hill” sorta moment… it’s massively disappointing.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m far from being a cynic. I strongly believe in the possibility of beautiful, loving, long term relationships. My parents, for example, have been married for almost 35 years. My in-laws will be celebrating their 60th anniversary in February! They have all provided a shining example of what true love really means.
Someone once said – “Fight for your fairytale, it does exist.”
How do Leland and I fight for it, despite our hardships? Guidance from the best source has taught us a lot.
Work. Hard work.
Constant, unfailingly communication.
Leland and I, have known each other since we were fifteen. We never dated when we were teens, we were just very good friends. Life took us separate ways, to different cities, different people, and other lives. Eventually, we found each other again. At the time. Neither of us thought we were in a place to be in relationship, both raw from being hurt by others. I had just been recently informed about my Bronchiolitis Obliterans diagnosis and told that I would need to have a double lung transplant one day, probably soon. Our friends and family though saw something in us that we didn’t yet fully see – true love. The kind that isn’t frightened by past hurt, or future stumbling blocks.
No, there weren’t any eyes locking across a dark room; no love at first sight. Sadly, neither of us have those gorgeous English accents either. (Although, we do watch a lot of British TV, but that’s another story entirely). Our longstanding friendship soon grew into a deep, incredible love story. But, it’s not the reality TV kind or the Cinderella kind. It’s a story all to our own, and it’s powerful and stirring in its own way.
We’ve been through some of the worst, unimaginable things any couple should go through (including my transplant, and many, many close calls!) and we’re still here, married, happy, best friends, in love every day. Soon, we’ll celebrate our nine year anniversary.
Soul mates? I think we’re far better than that.
The Creator of Love tells us this:
“Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.”
If you have a chance to have love, take it!
Work hard at it.
Care for it.
And if you can develop a British accent, that helps, too.
(This post was originally posted in part on the blog This Noise is Mine authored by Kirsty Pickering Bott in conjunction with a monthly guest debate series “TNIM Talks.” To see the original post, as well as read the other guest posts with the theme “Do Soulmates Really Exist” please head to Kirsty’s blog here)